


Sometimes you just wanna love someone (And they were Penpals)

by jeanrobote



Category: DCU (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Bruce Is Trying His Best, Dick and Tim didn't do anything wrong, Eddie trying his best to kind in a world that can be awfully cruel, First Time, Jason and Eddie are theater kids at heart, Jason kill billed himself out of his grave that was pretty big of him, Lot of sad shit too lot of gay yearning, M/M, Some funny shit in here too, There will be sexual content in this so if you're underage pls don't read I will block you., This is themselves underpressure, a Zack Snyder mention why not
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:14:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25617940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeanrobote/pseuds/jeanrobote
Summary: Eddie and Jason meet up sometime after under the red hood. Jason isn't really on good terms with his family. There's a lot of yearning in this,  Eddie is coming to terms with the fact that his soul belongs to a demon lord and is trying his best to cope. Jason will be a little shit.Uh I'm just taking bits and pieces from various continuities a lot of post crisis and were going by comic version of under the red hood so Jason had a batterang to the throat.
Relationships: Eddie Bloomberg & Jason Todd, Eddie Bloomberg/Jason Todd
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written fanfiction in like 5 years hope this turns out good. Imma try to update this regularly but who knows pls comment and give me some feedback or like ideas on what you're interested in sometimes I run out of them myself.

Maybe he liked having him around, but didn’t know what to say? Jason Todd back from the dead in all his glory lying on his couch yet again with his legs tangled with his own. Jason never said anything about the heat that was between them when they were like this. Eddie didn’t want to bring it up but it had to be uncomfortable, so why wasn’t he saying anything. Eddie’s body was physically hotter than the average human he could practically fry an egg. 

He could see Jason with the hot marks on his body like taking a shower with hot water for too long.

“Jay, you alright?” 

“I’m fine, but more importantly what movie do you wanna watch I’m thinking Dawn of the Dead, or Like Friday the 13th.” 

“I wanna watch the Dawn of the Dead,but the good one.”

Jason raised a brow “ The good one? Ed there’s only one.” 

“They made a reboot in like 2005.” Ed took a swig of his beer which Jason had brought and liked. But tasted like shit but he already opened the can and wasn’t about to waste it.

“ Was it any good?Anyone I know in it?” 

“It was one Zack Snyder’s one of his first big films and it stinks.” 

Eddie put his beer down on the small table in front of the couch pushing some of the newspapers and flyers he had stacked there, he was looking for a day job. He’d fallen out with the Titans again, worried that he might become evil, once Neron called upon him, he wanted to spare his friends that. He never felt like he belonged there anyhow. Yet he missed them.

“Didn’t he make that movie about the Spartans?”Jason said, putting in the old film to play. 

“He did.”

Jason made a face “Sure it looked nice but Spartans fought with their lovers and not a single pair of Spartan soldiers kiss each other or proclaim their love, but the antagonist could be this femme man with homoerotic undertones, pretty shitty if you ask me.”

“Thank you for that excellent film analysis, Jay I’ll be sure to write that in my letterboxd”

“You better, and tell them I said it!”

“Okie doke you weirdo.”

The film started to play and it was nice to fill his small apartment up with some noise, made it feel like there were more than just him and Jason here. 

Eddie liked having people around it was rough being 21 and having no one to talk to and care for you. Jason was his one friend but he wasn’t even sure if they were really friends again. They had been close when they were younger sending texts and letters being pen pals but that was before his friend had been put in a coffin. 

Jason Todd was like a cat coming and going from his apartment as he pleased. The man was on the run an outlaw, being hunted down by Batman and the rest of the Batfamily when they had the time to spare. Apparently, Jason made a really big splash on his comeback, made everyone real mad.

When he first met Jason again standing in front of his door with a small pack of caramel chocolate in his hand. It was Eddie’s favorite he’d mentioned it in the letters he wrote. It’s how he knew he wasn’t a fake, he’d know Jason had been alive because Tim had told him. 

Well more like he overheard Tim talking about him, no one bothered to remember that he and Jason were friends. He had to hear it from Dick second hand that Jason had died and didn’t even get to go to his funeral. He tried to look for him when he’d come back but it was like chasing a ghost, after about a week he was ready to throw in the towel and think that he’d never get to talk to his friend and grow up with him again. Till Jason came to him. 

He was banged up real bad and could only speak so softly with an injury to his throat. He could have told Tim, Dick or anyone that he’d found Jason, ease their minds. There was something in Jason's eyes in the way he moved and spoke the way he was surprised that Eddie was happy to see him. In the way that when Eddie hugged him when he saw him Jason didn’t want to let go. 

Jason didn’t want to say a word about how his demonic change, but Eddie knew that he knew they never talked about it because Eddie didn’t want to and Jason didn’t feel the need to pry. He understood. 

It became a habit Jason would come whenever he wanted and act like nothing had happened, sometimes they’d go together and work on a case, or Jason would help Eddie with a supernatural disaster. But then there were times Jason would come to him bloodied and crying and they would just sit together as Eddie bandaged him up. 

Eddie wasn’t paying attention to the movie he’d seen it many times. He was paying more attention to the fact that Jason laid his head on his shoulder getting and had switched from laying next to him than from across from him. 

Jason and Eddie were friends and when your friends and you’re 14 you and your friend decide to mess around because nothing’s ever really a big deal. And that means sometimes you kiss your friend on the mouth because he asked you what it was like when you kissed that girl on the set of your aunt’s studio that one time; and hope that Batman didn’t see you do that. That had been a couple of weeks before Jason died. If Jason remembered then he didn’t let on. They kissed only one more time and it was the last time Jason visited. He didn’t know if Jason even liked boys or if he even liked boys, hindsight 2020 and Eddie is as Bi as they come now. Jason always seemed so easy to be around. Always saying something funny, easy to know what was on his mind. He was easy to love. 

He knew that Jason was looking for his mother, and that him and Bruce had gotten into an argument before he died. They’d been texting before, he said after he found his mother that he wanted to come see him again, and Eddie couldn’t wait. He would ask him if he wanted to date him, he wasn’t going to use the word boyfriend, because he didn’t want to freak him out. 

Then the texts stopped and he thought he scared him away. It was months before he had seen Dick asked about Jason, if Jason hated him now and that’s why he wanted to stop talking to him. Dick looked as though he lived a million years when he told Eddie about Jason, because Batman hadn’t told him either, he had to come home and find Jason’s costume hung up with a little plaque and barely made it in time for the funeral. 

It was hard and life was hard. But Eddie had moved on; it's the typical human experience, many a poem and book have been made about a lost love. So Eddie filled a book on his feelings and burned a book to ease himself out of it. It had been working fine until Jason had come back now he didn’t know what to feel. This wasn’t the same Jason he came to love. But he wasn’t the same Eddie either.


	2. Jay wants to

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's get some Jay perspective.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also like I want to make it clear I don't think Bruce is a bad father or person. But that Jason would be upset at him at this point in time.Also thinking about Jason's ending in the injustice 2 universe, for this bit just a little.

It was never going to matter how hot Eddie Bloomberg’s skin is, Eddie doesn’t push him away. No matter how broken or ugly he is Eddie lets him in welcomes him. After everything he’s done he still cares about him. So if he feels like being in a sauna, or a shower that's scalding he’ll put up with it. 

Bruce, moved on he got other robins to fill his place it didn’t matter what happened to Jason Joker was still walking around like he did nothing at all. No one else was going to want him. And after that final bit being hit with a Battarang in the throat by the man he thought of as a father it was time to pack it up. 

He made his escape and he didn’t feel like seeing them again, for now. But God the world could be so lonely he ran back through his memories, he didn’t have a family to go back to and he was replaceable. Who was going to want to see him. 

Then he remembered he was going to go see before everything went to shit. Eddie had his first kiss. He couldn’t just go see Eddie, not when everyone was going to tell him he was a fuck up mess of a man. Eddie was good, he was crafty and smart and kind and probably found someone to love for himself. He didn’t need Jason. 

But he had to know if he still cared, because Eddie’s good and if there’s anyone who still might not hate him completely it's him. He trailed him, looked him up online, hacked the Titans computer to get info on him. Found out his whole situation, seems Eddie hadn’t had the best of luck these years either, getting turned into a real demon. 

And Eddie looked for him too. And he could see it in him despite his demonic appearance; the care was there. He checked out all the places for Jason and where they used to go when he was in town repeatedly. 

It was a hard decision if Eddie never saw him again he’d know that Eddie cared about him and that could be a perfect end to know that there’s one person who will always care and that that can’t be ruined. 

As strong as Jason is, he hates being alone, and aches to have real closeness, just to know that he’s worth something and that someone wants him there. That he isn’t a ghost wandering through purgatory with anything to tether him to the real world. 

He’s willing to risk it, his freedom for a chance to be close with someone again. He knew Eddie cared for him, but that when push came to shove Eddie was going to want to do the right thing. That meant he’d call his father and the rest of the robins to come claim him. But he wanted a moment just a moment to pretend that things were going to be alright. That things can be simple like when they were young. 

Eddie didn’t let him get caught. He understood, or perhaps he just pitied him. Then it became a habit. Jason could go where Eddie was and pretend things were okay when they got rough. 

He continued to fight injustice in his own way. That scar against his throat it was how he knew that no matter how much he loved his father that love wasn’t going to be returned, he was his good little soldier not his son, and in that way he knew he was never anyone’s son that the family he thought he had never really did exist.

And Jason knew that that didn’t matter in a grand sense of things because more importantly he was alive. Others couldn’t say that, he remembers being cold in his apartment where his sick mother overdosed because she couldn’t stand the pain she was going through. Fending for himself. It was like that more people are going to live like he, than Bruce Wayne for all his trauma Bruce still had a mansion and money to burn. What of the people harmed living hand to mouth what was going to save them? 

It wasn’t about him and Batman, Bruce, his father, but for the people on the streets with loved ones, the people who can’t protect themselves, the people being preyed on, by racists, rapists, homophobes, transphobes, and all around violent scumbags who think they can push themselves on people trying to live their lives and rob them of their lives. For that peace of mind Jason knows he can never get back the death he’s tasted the way he couldn’t stand the thought of a person just trying to be themselves and meeting an end like that. 

So he did what was necessary, he made sure that gangs that capitalized on misery, crooked cops, and corrupt local officials got what was coming to him. It wasn’t always killing sometimes it was black mail. Sometimes it was intercepting a payoff making off with the cash and watching the system eat itself because they couldn't feed their greed. Other times it was just him getting handsy and beating fuckers up, until they learned to back off. 

It was a lot but it needed to be done; he’d been keeping it going for a couple of months cleaning up the west coast. There were problems everywhere and he wasn’t going to be able to take back Gotham if he wasn’t at his peak, and thanks to his skirmish with Batman that might be a while. He had to bide his time.

And in this way he got comfortable with Eddie again. He even helped him with a couple of mystical cases himself. And Eddie wasn’t so different from the boy he knew as a child; there was heaviness there that wasn’t when they were kids. He knew of that deal with Neron how trapped he felt he was searching for a way to fix it to help his companion.

Eddie was his friend but he wanted to be more, to be held more, to be closer, he wanted to be loved and love in return.Sure Eddie wasn’t seeing anyone but would he want to settle for Jason of all people. Eddie could do better. Was Jason going to ruin one of the few good things in his life by risking it by hitting on his one confidant? 

Jason supposes it the same as when he considered whether or not to reintroduce himself and in that he knew the answer. 

There's a tension,a chemistry there between them he could feel it. If Eddie didn’t want him he’d respect his wishes and bury his feelings in deep. And keep this platonic and admire him from a far and respect Eddie’s space. 

So when they lay there watching a cinematic masterpiece, Jason laid his head on his shoulder it was a small act, a test of sorts. If Eddie was fine with it, he’d take it to the next step and do what he could to woo his friend. 

And he was fine with it Eddie moved to accommodate the both of them but he let Jason snuggle in closer almost like spooning. 

The film had finished. Jason had looked up to Eddie and he was sleeping. Jason did his best to get up without waking him, Eddie looked peaceful and had a job interview in the morning. He left Eddie's apartment and went to his own safe house. He considered it next time he saw him he was going to make a move on him and make it count.


	3. Do the Mature Thing?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie thinks about his feelings.

It had been about a week since Jason had last come to visit, and that wasn’t out of the usual sometimes he came around every other day, other times once every three weeks. But this time he had something a little more special after helping Zachary Zatanna out with one of his magic shows. Zachary gave him a talisman to help conceal his powers and appearance. Finally he didn’t have to worry about how to conceal his appearance anymore. 

He was happy he wasn’t going to burn Jason anymore.And also he rented a couple of theatre shows and indie films and wanted someone to watch and make fun of the bad ones with. 

And speak of the devil there Jason was. He actually bothered to knock this time rather than just picking the lock or coming in through a window. He had a backpack with him, and he was dressed more normally than he usually was, it wasn’t just his body armor and a tee shirt. It was a red button down dress shirt with fitted black jeans. Eddie assumed his backpack was just keeping all his weapons and stuff because in their line of business you can’t really go clean without something to defend yourself.

“Hey Ed, I um thought I’d cook dinner today that alright with you?”

“Oh, for sure, man I actually I get tired of takeout ya’know?”

Jason already getting out a pot to rinse.”I know, like It’s been awhile since I really cooked for myself something that didn’t take like 10 minutes or fast food.”

“Jay, do you want any help?”

“Nah, I got it just think of it as payback for all the times you let me stay here.”   
Jason went to work cooking, it took about 10 minutes before the apartment started smelling good, it was that tomato sauce, and garlic smell, he was making pasta. 

Eddie, searched through his movies and decided that when Jason was done they were going to watch The Handmaiden he’d been meaning to watch this movie for a while now and had put it on the back burner for so long. That it’d ended up being years before he’d seen it. Plus it was always a treat to watch a film in another language and see if he could pick up on any of the words and phrases. 

But until Jason finished cooking he was content to scroll through his phone. In looking through he got a text from Jaime Reyes, the Blue Beetle, it’d been a while since they’d last spoken but it was nice that Jaime remembered enough to text him.

It was a picture of Jaime and Zack lounging by a lake from a couple of days ago, with a text stating ‘the beach is boring, but we still had a good time you should come next time we plan a trip Horn Boy.’

Eddie texted back. ‘Maybe next time :P Blue Butt’.

Jason was ready with 2 plates of spaghetti and meatballs, and a little bit of sauce on his shirt. 

“It’s um, not much but I hope you like it, Ed.” Jason smiled softly. 

“I’d like any free food,dude.”

Eddie played the film and they watched and ate together. He knew that the story was good but not that it was a love story. He was glad that his blush was hidden by his complexion. He put his plate down and leant back into the count. Head on Jason’s shoulder.

And as quickly as it’d started the movie was done. Jason was sweating a bit. 

“Did you like the movie, Jay?” 

“It was great, loved it.”

Eddie took notice of Jason’s complexion. 

“Am I making you sweat, Jay I got this charm from Zach but it turns out that didn’t work. I’m sorry.”

“Trust me Ed, it’s not you.”

“Ok,do you want me to turn on an ac are you alright ?”

“I’m fine, really”

Jason looked from side to side and took out a worn piece of paper out of his pocket and left it on the table.

“This is ah...its for you. Just read it when I go ok.” 

“There a particular reason why I can’t read it now.” 

“Yes.”

“Are you going to tell me?” 

“No.”

Eddie raised a brow. 

“You’ll get it when you read it all right I gotta get going I left something back at my base”

“You have a base and you didn’t invite me? Why are we always meeting up at my house, when You got a place?”

“I have to go.”

Eddie looked at him as he left through the window Jason didn’t seem upset but he left so quickly he didn’t have the chance to ask him what was wrong.

He opened the paper Jason left behind and read the message. 

‘I hoped I would have the words to say to you in person that I shouldn’t run away, if you don’t feel the way I feel about you. You’re like a Sun and I’m the moon lucky enough to bask in your light. I feel alive in a way I never felt before when I’m with you. I have these feelings for you and I don’t know what I should. If you want me to be your friend I’ll remain that way. If you don’t want to see me I’d understand. I just needed you to know that I felt this way for you, and that whatever happens or what you decide you’ll always be my friend.’

Eddie just stared at the paper for a few moments after reading it. He sank back onto his couch. What was he going to do. He wanted to hold Jason and kiss him, but the desire wasn’t safe. He didn’t know how long his body was his until Neron would come to claim him because he wasn’t going to trust Dan again. And if he gave into his wants what's to guarantee that he and Jason would ruin the delicate relationship between them.

Eddie was going to have to do the hard thing, the mature thing. Realize that even though he wanted Jason now; Jason might one day go down a path he can’t follow. Or in its own way they give it a genuine and honest try and it doesn’t work because they are not meant to work in that way that way and he doesn’t know what to do if that time comes.


	4. What do you feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason and Eddie talk about the way they feel inside.

Jason came back the next day and tried to act as though things were normal. Eddie didn’t seem upset he was quietly reading something on his phone, his expression neutral. Jason knocked a little on the wall to get his attention. 

“Hey, did you.. Uh read it. The note I gave you.”

Eddie looked at Jason for a long while before exhaling. 

“Yeah, I read it. It was very dramatic, very you.” Eddie smiled. 

“ How do you feel about me then?” Jason said leaning against the walls, trying to play it cool, only if he doesn’t hear what he wants and ends up sinking down and acting a fool. 

“I like you. I really like you and I want you.” 

Jason perked up.

“In all honesty I don’t know if I have a future here with you.I think we're going different places, Jay.”

“I know who I am and I’m not giving that up for anyone, even if I feel this way about you.”

“I see. Where do you see me going that I can’t go with you Ed.”  
Jason knew what it was but he had to hear it from Eddie he needed to make it real. 

“When it's down to it you kill people, and I don’t. I can’t stand by that I don’t think you’re evil or whatever but let me tell you something. One day you’ll end up doing something that you’ll regret and I can’t stand by you then.And when I love someone I want to love them wholly, and support them. I can’t support all the things you do Jay.”

Jason let himself shift the weight of how he was standing so he wouldn’t slip. 

“I understand. The people I deal with aren't like the guys you and me fought when we were young.It took a long time to figure out who I was and what I was. I’m not going to make you be anything you’re not, Ed”

Jason smiled.

“It was just something I had to get off my chest, ya’know it was good seeing you.”

Jason started to walk away. Eddie grabbed his wrist. 

“You don’t have to leave you already came all this way here.”

Eddie and Jason sat on the couch together. Eddie put on the t.v and they were trying way to hard to focus on the television. 

“Look, is that Mad mod? He’s still at it, he's like 84?” Eddie exclaimed.

“I think he just forgot to pay for some fabrics at Michael’s and now things have snowballed out of control, dude.”

They looked on at that senior citizen being apprehended by the local police but giving them a bit of a hard time, not hard enough for either of them to want to get involved but hard enough that it was funny to watch. 

The boys sank in on the couch and the way they were sitting it made it easy to lean on each other. 

So they did that they leaning in on each other Jason more on Eddie, because he was slightly taller and got settled in at a weird angle when they first sat together. Eddie looked at Jason and Jason at Eddie. 

While neither one of them could figure out who jumped into it first they kissed each other. Jason had liked Eddie for so long and it wasn’t like their first kiss. Well their first kiss was nice their was an innocence in it. This kiss was bad mostly because Jason had come in at a bad angle and bumped his teeth against Eddie’s. 

As awkward as it was, it was perfect in that way it brought them together. They didn’t want to let go of each other.


End file.
